Sunday, May 31, 2009

HUMILITY - THE KEY TO GREATNESS - BEHAALOSECHA



In the end of the Parsha, Hashem describes Moshe Rabbeinu as the most humble man upon the face of the Earth. According to the Torah’s definition of greatness, Moshe represents the ultimate level a person can reach; he attained the greatest closeness to Hashem humanly possible, learnt the most Torah and was the teacher of all of Klal Yisroel. It is clear that his outstanding humility is directly connected to his greatness. This begs the question; there are numerous good midos such as kindness and honesty so why is it the mida of humility in particular that is the one that enabled him to become so great?

In order to answer this it is instructive to analyse the mida which is the opposite of humility - arrogance. The Gemara in Sota describes Hashem’s hatred for the arrogant person - Hashem says that there is no room for Himself and the arrogant person (baal geiva) to ‘reside together. What does this mean? The baal geiva believes that he does not need Hashem to succeed in life. He feels that his own talents are sufficient and therefore he does not need Hashem’s ‘help’. Accordingly, Hashem responds mida ceneged mida and complies with this attitude - He provides the baal geiva with no siata dishmaya in his endeavors. That is the meaning of the idea that Hashem won’t reside with him. Therefore, he is greatly limited to what he can achieve by his own talents - because he is a mere human being he is limited. He may be intelligent, but his intelligence will only take him to a certain point. After that he is helpless.

The anav has the opposite attitude. He realises that he has talents but that they are G-d given. Accordingly, he acknowledges that anything he strives to do can only be accomplished with Heavenly help (siata dishmaya). This realisation is not limiting, in fact it is incredibly empowering. For once a person recognizes that Hashem provides him with whatever ability is necessary, it becomes obvious that his potential is unlimited because the source for his success is Himself unlimited! If a person is willing to exert the necessary hishtadlus in doing Ratson Hashem then he can achieve success that even transcends the regular laws of nature (derech hateva). This explains why Moshe Rabbeinu’s mida of humility enabled him to reach such incredible heights. He realised that anything he tried to do was only through the power given to him by Hashem. This recognition removed any limitations on what he could do, and as we see many times in the Torah he attained supernatural achievements.
In Parshas Vayakhel The Ramban describes an example of how humility - the recognition that Hashem is the source of all our strengths - can enable ordinary people to achieve great things. The Torah, in discussing the building of the Mishkan, tells us that “every man whose heart inspired him came.” The Ramban explains that this refers to the people who came to do the skilled work such as sewing, weaving and building. But there is a difficulty with this explanation - the Jews in Mitzrayim had no opportunity to learn skilled activities such as these so how did these people suddenly possess the ability to do them?! He answers that “their hearts were raised in the ways of Hashem” to the degree that they found in their nature the ability to do things that they had never learnt how to do. They realised that Hashem is the source of all our ability and consequently they were able to achieve the impossible.

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l develops this theme even further. He quotes the passuk in Mishlei, “Go to the ant, you lazy one, see its ways and become wise.” The Medrash explains what we are supposed to learn from the ant: “This ant only lives six months and all it needs to eat [it’s whole life] is one and a half kernels of wheat, and it goes and gathers all the wheat and barley that it can find… and why does it do this? Because it says to itself, ‘perhaps Hashem will decree for me life and this food will be ready for me to eat’. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai said that he once saw an ant’s hole in which there was 300 Cor of grain, therefore Shlomo Hamelech said ‘go to the ant, lazy one’, you too should prepare for yourself mitzvos from Olam Hazeh for Olam Haba.”
Rav Shmuelevitz notes that the ant gathers 300 Cor based on the distant possibility that he may live long enough to eat it - this, he writes, “would be a miracle without comparison, because in six months he eats one and a half kernels, if so to eat 300 Cor he would need to live hundreds of thousands of years! Such a miracle has never occurred in the history of the world… nevertheless the ant works hard to do this. In the same way, man is obligated to work and prepare himself in Olam Hazeh for Olam Haba, and if he does not do so - does not work according to the remotest possibility of a miracle, then he is considered lazy!” He then explains that this is the explanation of the Tana d’bey Eliyahu that everyone is obligated to ask himself when he will reach the level of the Avos. “All one’s behavior and actions must be directed at reaching the level of the actions of the Holy Avos. Even though the distance is extremely far, much farther than the 300 Cor for the ant, and b’derech hateva it is impossible to reach it, nevertheless man is obligated to strive to do whatever he can to attain it.” He continues that such ambitious goals can indeed be attained but only through siata dishmaya. Indeed he points out that our ability to ever conquer the yetser hara is only possible due to Hashem’s help, as stated in the Gemara that “if not for Hashem’s help we cannot defeat the yetser hara.”

Thus we have seen that humility, the recognition that we can only achieve anything in life with Hashem’s help, is the key to greatness. Once we tap into this unlimited source then we can reach incredible heights. Of course, the level which Moshe Rabbeinu achieved seems very distant, however we could all find instances in our lives where it was clear that the siata dishmaya was the cause of our success. If we can access the feeling that we experience on those occasions then we can quite easily recognize that Hashem is the source of all our abilities.

Thus we have seen how humility should be the catalyst to inspire us to strive to achieve great things. However, it is important to be aware that there is a negative side to humility. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l addresses a common tendency of people to underestimate themselves by claiming that they are greatly limited in their talents and that they can never achieve greatness. He writes that this kind of humility is the atsas yetser hara. Indeed, according to what we have seen thus far, this attitude is exactly the opposite of genuine humility; Genuine humility empowers a person, whilst this false humility only serves to inhibit him. It seems that this attitude actually derives from a different negative trait - laziness, which is really a manifestation of the desire for comfort. It is not easy to achieve greatness; it requires great effort and the willingness to face setbacks and even failure. This is difficult, therefore it is very tempting for a person to ‘write himself off’ and thereby exempt himself from even trying - this is certainly the more 'comfortable' option. However, we must be very weary that Hashem has far higher expectations of us and that we will be judged according to that measure. Moreover, if we do overcome this initial reluctance to try then we can experience the great feeling of actually making an effort to do something that can help many people - this is a far deeper pleasure than that of comfort.
How much can a person achieve when he plugs into Hashem’s unlimited power? When one visits the home of a Rabbi in Aish Hatorah it is very likely that he will see a photo of Rav Shach zt”l with a statement underneath it: About 30 years ago, he visited Aish HaTorah and spoke there. He was struck by the remarkable number of baalei teshuva that were standing in front of him. He suddenly decided to speak in the Beis Medrash - he discussed the concept that however powerful the forces for evil can be, the forces for Good must be greater. Based on this he made a remarkable statement: “if one man can kill six million Jews, then it must be that one man can save six million Jews.” This is the statement that accompanies the picture of Rav Shach - this is a lesson that we should never forget. Hashem is infinitely more powerful than the most powerful reshaim. If we only tap into His power then we can genuinely strive to reach Rav Shach’s vision.
 
 

DO NOT HATE, PART 1

“Do not hate your brother in your heart, you will surely rebuke a member of your people, and you will not bear sin upon him.”

Over the past several weeks we have seen how the Torah stresses the importance of loving our fellow man. There are occasions in life when it is very difficult to have positive feelings towards certain people and at times we may even feel decidedly negative about them. The Torah is aware of this phenomena and instructs us how to deal with it. There are a number of reasons as to why we may harbor negative feelings towards a person: One of the most common is when we feel that this person wronged us in some way. He may have said something that hurt our feelings or he may have done something that caused us pain.

How should a person react to such a situation? The Torah begins by telling us not to “hate your brother in our heart” - that means we should not simply keep our feelings to ourselves and act as normal towards him. You may wonder what is so bad about that - after all perhaps we will forget about it with the passing of time? If this is the case then it may be advisable to remain quiet, however, more commonly, we tend to build up negative feelings towards that person in our heart and they are never truly resolved. Consequently, even after a long time, we may still think about the past incident whenever we come in contact with that person. One author writes that he once sent a slightly arrogant sounding letter to a well-known author. In reply the author insulted his bad manners in a most unpleasant manner. The victim writes that ten years later he heard about the death of this author and all he could think about was how the author had hurt his feelings so many years earlier!

So how should we react? The Torah answers - do not keep your feelings inside, rather “you will surely rebuke a member of your people.” The word ’rebuke’ sounds rather harsh, however the Hebrew word, ’tochacha’ really means to clarify. When someone upsets us we should clarify the situation with him. This means that after a brief amount of time when the initial high level of anger has cleared, we should approach the person and gently speak to him about how hurt our feelings. This should only be done in private so as not to cause any embarrassment to the person and there should be no hint of anger or aggression in our words. What normally happens in such a situation is that the person apologizes for his behavior, explains why he acted in such a way, and emphasizes that he had no idea that what he had said or done had caused pain. This is one aspect of how the Torah guides us how to have healthy, positive relationships.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

THE FREEDOM OF TORAH - NASSO AND SHAVUOS

The parsha discusses the mitzva of Nezirus, whereby a person takes a vow to abstain from wine, to avoid coming into contact with a dead body, and to let his hair grow. The author of Toras Avraham, Rav Avraham Grodzinki zt”l, discusses a number of difficulties with regard to the spiritual standing of the Nazir. He notes that at one point the Torah describes him as ’holy’ for depriving himself of physical pleasure. However, soon after, in the process of describing the sacrifices that he brings, it tells us that he must bring a sin-offering to atone for a certain aveira that he has committed. What is that aveira? Rashi brings the opinion of Rebbe Elazar Hakappa that his sin was that he caused himself pain by depriving himself of the enjoyment of drinking wine. Thus there is a blatant contradiction as to whether the Nazir is doing a great mitza or is in fact committing an aveira.

The Toras Avraham answers that the Nazir is doing the right thing - he is someone who feels an unhealthy tendency towards physical pleasure, and therefore deems it necessary to make the drastic step of taking a vow of Nezirus. However, there is an element of sin in this action that requires atonement; the Toras Avraham explains that G-d created man with a body and soul and that it is wrong for man to totally neglect his body. Man‘s job in this world is to live in the physical world but to elevate it. The Nazir feels that he cannot do this without totally abstaining from wine. He is correct for acting this way, but in doing so, he causes his body considerable discomfort because it has a certain level of shibud (attachment) to the physical world and feels pain at being deprived of the pleasures that the physical world has to offer. Consequently, he is considered ‘holy’ for undertaking such a bold process of purification, but simultaneously needs to bring a sin offering for causing pain to his body.

Having explained the duality in the act of Nezirus, the Torah Avraham then poses a new problem. He brings the Ramban at the beginning of Parshas Kedoshim who writes that it is not sufficient to merely observe mitzvas but live a life full of indulgence, rather the Torah requires us to ’be holy’. To fulfill this mtizva, he writes that one must abstain from physical pleasures. He even equates the holy man to the Nazir who is described as being holy for abstaining from wine. However, he makes absolutely no allusion to any sin committed by abstaining from physical pleasures even though it seems to cause pain to the ’holy’ man’s body. The Toras Avraham writes that this Ramban is discussing the level of a ‘Talmid Chacham’, a person who strives to separate himself from the luxuries of this world. This leads to the obvious question: What is the difference between the Nazir who sinned by abstaining from wine, and the Talmid Chacham who commits no sin in following a similar process?!

The answer is that there is a fundamental difference between the prishus (separation) of the Nazir and that of the Talmid Chacham. The Nazir is subject to a strong physical drive for the baser pleasures such as wine. It is painful for him to withdraw from partaking of them, therefore he is considered to be sinning by causing himself pain. In contrast the Talmid Chacham feels no pain at avoiding physical self-indulgence because he is not bound to his physical drives. He has such a strong recognition of the futile and transient nature of physical pleasures that it is not difficult for him to abstain from them. Thus, whilst the Nazir needs atonement for causing himself pain, the Talmid Chacham is not considered to have committed any kind of misdemeanour.

We learn from here a fundamental principle; that the ideal way of separating from physical pleasures should not involve a painful process of self-deprivation. Rather it should emanate from a natural sense of the ultimate futility of physical gratification. This stands in stark contrast to the secular attitude to self-deprivation. This is most manifest in the widespread attempts of people to lose weight through intense diets. These largely fail and it seems that a significant reason for this is that denying oneself food is a cause of great self-affliction. The dieter does not free himself of a desire for pleasant tasting foods, rather often his craving for them actually increases. Thus he goes through a painful process of self-deprivation which invariably cannot last indefinitely. It seems that the Torah approach to food should automatically enable a person to eat healthily and even lose weight. If a person frees himself from his shibudim to physical pleasures, then abstaining from them will become a painless process. One ben Torah who was somewhat overweight and was known to eat large amounts of food, undertook to reduce his food intake through a gradual process of reducing his shibudim to food - in the process he lost about thirty pounds in a few months!

It still needs to be understood how a person can reach the level of the Talmid Chacham and be able to separate from physical pleasures without causing himself discomfort. The key seems to be that if one develops a strong appreciation for spirituality then he automatically frees himself of a shibud to physicality.

A bocher once asked Rav Noach Orlowek Shlita that he looked forward to lunch more than mincha - how could he change this? Rav Orlowek answered him that he should deepen his appreciation for tefilla and by doing so he would automatically reduce his preference for lunch.
This dichotomy is highly relevant to our relationship with Torah that we celebrate on Shavuos. The Mishna in Avos exhorts us that the way of Torah is to eat bread and salt, drink water and sleep on the ground. This does not necessarily mean that to become a Talmid Chacham one must live in this fashion, rather the Mishna is telling us that we should develop such a deep appreciation for Torah that the baser pleasures become meaningless. Consequently, for a person to aspire to be a Talmid Chacham he must be willing and able to live in a sparse way. Thus, even if he does have access to a higher standard of living he will nevertheless be able to focus on the higher pleasure of learning Torah. However, if he feels a great pull to physical comfort then it will be impossible for him to sufficiently devote himself to Torah.

This principle of freeing oneself from physical pleasures is connected to Shavuos in another way. The Magen Avraham discusses the widespread Minhag for men to stay awake on the night of Shavuos. He suggests that the reason for this is based on a Medrash that the Jewish people slept the whole night before Mattan Torah and Hashem had to wake them up. We try to metaken (fix) this error by staying awake for the whole night. What is the underlying meaning in this Minhah? It seems that whilst the Jewish people were ready to receive the Torah, nonetheless on a certain level, they also felt a degree of apprehension at the implications of doing so. It would require a high level of self-deprivation and place great demands on them. This apprehension manifest itself through sleep which represents the ultimate escape from the challenges of life. It is very common that when a person feels troubled or depressed he turns to sleep as a way of escaping his problems. The Jewish people were excited about receiving the Torah and knew that it offered them a far deeper and more meaningful form of existence but deep down they also felt a shibud to the physical pleasures that they would now have to forsake. In order to metaken this ‘sin’, we deprive ourselves of sleep to demonstrate that the joy of receiving the Torah far outweighs the loss of physical comforts such as sleep.
 
We have seen how there are two ways in which a person can deprive himself of physical pleasures. The Nazir’s self-deprecation causes him considerable discomfort, whilst the Talmid Chacham feels no pain in refraining from such pleasures. Our goal is to reduce our shibudim to the physical world through a heightened sense of appreciation for spirituality. Shavuos is an apt time to work on developing this love of spirituality by recognizing that the joy of learning Torah all night far outweighs that of sleeping!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nothing in life is coincidence

And since nothing in life is coincidence, my conversation with Dan and John, 2 American college students that I met at a local supermarket this week, was also no coincidence. I asked them what they were doing in Israel and they began telling me all about the program they were on for the past 5 months. At the end of the conversation I asked them what they thought of Israel, and one said, “It's like Yom Kippur times 100!”

I replied, “Was it that bad?!”, And he began to explain, “No no, it was great, what I meant was that the only time of year that I see so many Jews is on Yom Kippur, and being in Israel and seeing such large numbers of Jews is just like Yom Kippur for me”

As interesting as it was to hear what Dan thinks about when he counts large numbers of Jews, it's even more interesting to hear what G-d “has in mind” when counting the Jews in this weeks Parsha.

If nothing really is coincidence, why is then that this weeks Parsha, where the Jews are counted, falls out around the holiday of Shavuos every year? What's the connection between the counting of the Jews and receiving the Torah?

[1] Some people think that different people have different jobs in life. Some are doctors, some are lawyers, and some are Rabbi's. The Dr. studies medicine, the lawyer studies law, and the Rabbi studies Torah. And therefore, learning Torah is for certain people, like the Rabbi or Yeshiva guys. Or, “I used to learn Torah very seriously, but now I just don't anymore. “

When the Jews were counted, there was no differentiation made between those that were great in Torah and those that were not, everyone was counted together. The message that G-d “had in mind” when counting the Jews all together, was that Torah is for everyone. Regardless of whether you feel, “I'm too old to start now” or “I had my days of serious learning” It is for everyone all the time. Thats the connection between Shavuos and this weeks Parsha.

I was once working in a public school. And when the month of December came some of the teachers ran christmas programs and some ran Chanukah programs, and to the kids it made no difference. What about to us? What is the difference between a Jewish Holiday and a christian holiday?

[2] One of the major differences is that every Yom Tov in the Jewish calendar is not just a time of year where we remember an event that once happened, but rather there is actually a special potential that is more readily available at that Yom Tov, than any other time of the year.

Imagine a person who owns an ice cream truck, and all year long he tries to sell ice cream. When is his busiest season? The summer! Could you imagine if this guy decided to take off from work from June to August? We would all say he's crazy. Why? Because he missed out on a potential that was there for the taking, and he gave it up.

Shavuos has a special potential for us. It is time for us to ask ourselves how much of a relationship do we have with the Torah that Hashem gave us, and to truly create or build upon our connection with it. But if we wait until the night of Shavuos to ask this question we may miss out on the potential available.

In about 1 week it will be Shavuos. In order to make this Shavuos the most meaningful it can be, try to take a few minutes before it arrives to ask ourselves how this Shavuos is going to be different than last one? What can we do to come out as bigger people after this upcoming YomTov?

Good Shabbos!

Tzvi Sytner


[1] R' Moshe Feinstein

[2] R' Dessler

Take the Plunge...Are You Getting Bitter or Better?

If there is one thing that I ever thought was boring and inapplicable to my life it was the laws of Shmitta and Yovel. Literally! If you mentioned either of those words it was like I just heard a nice bed time story....Until this week. This week, I almost couldn't sleep after I hearing the truth behind Shmitta and Yovel.

I was once in a shul davening Mincha, when I began to feel it was bit stuffy. I reached my hand up near a fan to feel if it was blowing properly, when I suddenly felt as if someone's eyes were trying to pierce the back of my head. I turned around and saw an old man about 90, who had smoke coming out of his ears. His head had turned beet red and he was angry. He began approaching me in a rage, yelling and screaming about how I touched his fan. I spoke to him calmly trying to explain that I had not touched it, but was merely putting my hand near the fan to feel if it was on. He wouldn't listen. As I was walking home I was thinking to myself...this guy has a real anger problem. But it didn't develop at age 90, he has had it since he was my age, he just never got rid of it. I thought to myself; I too have negative characteristics, am I going to be 90 with the same negative characteristics as I do now?

This is what Yovel is about. G-d tells us to work for 6 years and every 7th year we should stop (shmitta year) and at the 7th year all our fields are free for everyone to take from. And G-d commands us to count these 7 year periods, 7 times, until we reach the 50th year. And do you know what happens at year 50? On Yom Kippur of that year, the Shofar is blown to announce the Yovel year, and all of our fields and houses go back to their original owners.

The whole thing sounds wierd. (Why do we have to work for 6 and stop at the 7th? Why do my fields become free for all in the 7th? Why seven? Why do I have to count 49 years? Why blow a shofar to announce it? Why do all houses and fields go back to their owners?)

The Kli Yakar explains that when we are counting the years of Yovel, we are really counting the years of our lives. He says that the first 20 years of a person's life are years where one has not yet developed his intellect or understanding of life. The following 50 years, from age 20 -70 (the numbers vary), are the prime years of a persons life, where we develop ourselves and affect the people around us. This 50 year period is what Yovel is a representation of. This period of our lives, is the period where we plant and harvest, and at the 50th year of Yovel, whatever we have done in our “fields”, and the houses we have built, go to someone else. So too in our lives, during the main part of our lives, we work, we acquire possessions, we collect things, we build our houses etc...But the day comes for every human being that he leaves this world, and when that happens, in that “50th” year, everything we own goes on to someone else. That is why we announce Yovel wth the blowing of the shofar, when else do we blow the shofar? Rosh Hashana and Yom kippur, which are days where we ask ourselves, are we good people? Are we spending our lives being givers? Are we going what G-d wants us to be doing?

It sounds kind of depressing doesn't it? But it's beautiful. Because many people wake up at age 90 or older and say, “If I only knew then what I know now”. And if they only really did have a constant reminder, then maybe at age 90 they would be at complete inner peace, having invested their lives in only good things, things that would be rewarding for them for eternity. This is Yovel, it is a constant reminder where we ask ourselves, “How can I be a better person? What is another Mitzvah I can do?”

I believe this can also be applied to the counting of Sefirah, where we are counting 49 days, and it is a time to be building ourselves and asking ourselves these questions.

There was once a 92 year old man standing on line for the semester registration at a University. An 18 year old guy asks him, “sir, do you know this line is for registering for the semester?” “Yes I know.” And do you know that it takes 4 years to get a college degree?” “Yes, I know”. “But that means you will be 97 when you graduate?” “That's true, but I'm going to be 97 anyway, so either I can be 97 with a degree or 97 without a degree”.

We are all getting older whether we like it or not, and as my friend likes to say, “You are either getting bitter or better” It is up to us to decide how we are going to utilize our time in this world and the Torah is giving us tools that serve as reminders for us to constantly ask ourselves this question, “How else can I be bigger? How else can I affect those around me?” And these tools ultimately lead us to living a happier, meaningful and more fulfilled life!

Have a fulfilling shabbos!

Tzvi

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Rabbi Tzvi Sytner will Im'H be posting his weekly Dvar Torah

Sunday, May 17, 2009

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR PART 2

Previously, we began outlining the parameters of the commandment of ‘love thy neighbor’. We discussed how we should desire that other people succeed in life and feel pain at their difficulties. The Talmud discusses further the requirements of this commandment. It tells us of a great Rabbi, Hillel, who was the leader in his generation. A non-Jew who wanted to convert to Judaism came to him, and asked that Hillel teach him the single most fundamental principle in Judaism. Hillel answered him, “do not do to your friend that which is hateful to you.” In the Torah this command is expressed in the positive sense - “love thy neighbor”, however Hillel emphasized the negative aspect of not hurting others.
Most of us have good intentions towards others, we want to help them and certainly do not want to cause them pain. However, all too often, we are responsible for hurting their feelings or harming them in some way. Hillel teaches us that one of the most basic principles underlying inter-personal relationships is developing a sensitivity to the feelings of others. A good way of doing this is to think about what things cause us pain, and then develop an awareness of how those things can bother our friend. For example, we often like to joke around about our friends, this can be harmless but it can and often does upset the other person - most of us, deep down, do not like it when others make fun of us, so how must our friend feel when we do it to him?!
You may ask, there are some things that do not bother me, but may bother my friend - must I also be sensitive to them? The answer is, ’yes’ - each of us have our own attitudes and sensitivities - Hilllel was teaching us that just like we expect our friends to be receptive to our unique needs, so too we should do the same for our friend.
We can now more easily understand why Hillel said that not hurting others is such a fundamental principle in Judaism. The root cause of an inability to develop a relationship with Hashem is self-absorption. If a person only cares about his own feelings and his way of looking at the world, then he will be unable to accept Hashem’s ‘opinions’ about life as expressed in the Torah. In contrast, a person who is not totally caught up in himself and can relate to the feelings of other people can also more easily accept that his outlook on life is not the only viable one. He will be more willing to step out of his own self and try to understand how Hashem ‘views’ the world.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Love Your Neighbor Part 1

“Do not take revenge, do not bear a grudge against a member of your people, love thy neighbor like yourself.”

“Love thy neighbor” - is there any commandment more well-known than this? Yet we must ask ourselves what this requires on an individual level? Understood literally this would imply that we must have the same emotional feelings of love to others that we naturally feel for ourselves. Yet is this really possible? We all feel a very strong love for ourselves and it is surely impossible to love other people to the same extent.

A more satisfactory explanation of this commandment is that it obligates us to strive to desire that our friend succeeds in life. This attitude is not based on emotions, rather it comes from an intellectual understanding that the success of another person should also be a source of joy to ourselves. In order to achieve this level we must work on removing feelings of jealousy towards others. Jealousy comes when a person feels threatened by his friends achievements, and feels inadequate as a result. But we need to recognize that each person has his own unique set of talents tailor-made for him to be able to fulfill his potential in life.

For example, the abilities required of a pitcher in baseball are very different from those needed to be a great batter. Would a pitcher be jealous of the batter’s ability to hit a ball very hard?! And likewise, would a batter feel lacking if he could not pitch a ball as accurately as the pitcher?! Of course not - they realize that they have a particular role in the team that requires certain talents but not others. So too, I have no reason to feel jealous of my friend’s abilities. Had I needed them I would have been blessed with them!

Once we can internalize this idea then it will become far easier to share in our friend’s joy and empathize with his pain. So, when a friend is seeking employment, the command of “love thy neighbor” tells us that we should strive to want him to succeed as much as we would want to succeed ourselves. And if he fails in a test then we should try to imagine how we would feel in the same situation and transfer that feeling to him. This is one of the key aspects of ‘love thy neighbor’ and if we can live by this then we can avoid unwarranted jealousy and feel far more content with our lot in life.
 

The Jerusalem Kollel inaugrates a new series